My Life.  

The beginning of my life, before Mom, Dad, Jezebel, and London is a bit of a blur.  I know that people were angry at me for peeing on the rug and barking, but I was a puppy, so I did not really know any better.  I ended up in this cage in this scary place that smelled bad, even to me, and I like the smell of dead mice.  This family with a little girl and a little brown dog showed up and took me outside to play.  I love to play.  The little brown dog and I were about the same size and we rolled around and played on the lawn and it was so fun to be outside.  I liked the way this family smelled.  

Next thing I knew, I was in the back of their car, wearing my very own collar, and hanging out of the window smelling the breeze.  

I got to my new house, and there was grass and oh so many soft places to lie down.  My new life was grand, a best friend to play with all day long, a little girl to play with, a Mom who fed me from the table, a Dad who came and played with me in the middle of the night in his underwear in the backyard.  I had a soft bed in every single room.   My new name was, “Bailey, drop it.”  

I’m a dog, so I can’t tell time, but these are the times I especially remember: 

One Christmas, some people who like my parents, who are the servants of my friends Gizmo and Riley, sent us some really awesome fudge for the holidays.  Mom and Dad were trying to hog it all for themselves, but finally decided to share by leaving it on the lower counter instead of on the top of the fridge.  I convinced my sister, Jezebel, to help me get the container off the counter and we tore it to shreds.  We ate the wrappers and everything.  Mom came home to find this in the kitchen and did that yelling thing I don’t like.  She was on the phone and talking about me and Jezebel, who was hiding under the table.  She especially doesn’t like it when Mom yells.  Then, to my delight, Mom asked us if we wanted to go for a ride in the car.  I didn’t think we would get rewarded with a car ride!  We went to the place where I get my shots, and the people there are really nice and give me treats.  A new lady came and took us from Mom, but both of us were together and so I figured we were just going to get to have bubble baths and be brushed and loved.  Then the lady shoved black stuff down my throat that tasted disgusting.  She did it to Jezebel too.  We both started to throw up everywhere.  All the fudge and wrappers came up and were all over the floor.  They made us stay there for soooo long.  Mom got to come give me one love, but then she went away again.  Finally, they let me go home.  Mom seemed happy and mad at the same time.  

Another time, when Mom and Dad were getting ready to take us camping in the place with all the smells, Mom left this mysterious box on the counter when she went to work.  I figured it was something she wanted us to play with, so we did.  It smelled so interesting.  I decided to eat some and Jezebel did too, because she usually follows what I do.  This stuff was amazing.  We both had a severe case of the zoomies.  We were jumping on the couch, on the beds, and running inside and back outside again.  Mom came home and was again, very loud.  Jezebel tried to calm down, but she was too wired.  She was jumping off the bed with me and running around to do it again.  I heard Mom say something on the phone to Dad about ‘instant coffee.’   

 Mom and Dad liked to go to the mountains to let me smell all the smells.  This one time when we were at the place where we go on the boat and I supervise the fish in the cooler, we went for an evening walk with my little girl London and her cousin Max.  I decided that there was some awesome smell I had to check out, so I ran towards it.  I could hear Mom and Dad calling for a long time, but I just kept following that awesome smell.  Soon, I didn't know where I was.  Luckily after what seemed like an eternity, I found my Mom.  She carried my fat ass back to the car and was almost crying.  I don't know why, but after that, whenever I got to go play in the mountains, I had to wear this bulky black collar that spied on me and let my Mom find me wherever I was hiding.   

I had lots of fun in my everyday life too,  I learned to open my food bin by myself.. I thought my parents would be so proud of me, but they seemed kind of angry about it.    We had lots of fun routines in the evenings.   This is how it would go.  Mom would give Jezebel and Me both a chewy.  I would take mine outside in the yard and bury it, so it could marinate and get extra delicious in the dirt.  Jezebel would chew on hers, and I would sit and stare at her longingly and see if she would share with me.  She usually forgot about it after a while and I would go and take it, and it was so good after she got it nice and gooey.  Then, she would go out and find my gourmet marinated chewy and bring it in.  Mom and Dad tried to get in on this action, because they always took the gourmet marinated chewy for themselves because they didn't want to share the delicious dirt and grime with the carpet.  They usually put it on the top of the fridge, with all the other treats they did not want to share with us.    Eventually, Mom would get it wet and wash all the goodness off it, and we would start all over again.  Ah, the life.... 

 I had so many adventures in my short life.  I got to ride in a policecar in the middle of the night when I took myself for a walk at 3 am,  I  got to hang out with my favorite Aunt and Uncle whenever my parents were out of town, I wore clothes, I slept in bed with my family, I went swimming, hiking, snowshoeing, and boating.    My family loved me so much.  It was a good life.